Sandwiched between my very own international break - I wasn’t called up or anything, I just fancied a break - I have contributed two more articles to Red Nation Online.

www.guardian.co.uk

   Firstly, an exploration of Britishness in ‘The most British person in football? Arsene Wenger’.

www.mirrorfootball.co.uk

   Posted up today, a look into the warring words between Swindon’s Paolo Di Canio and Crawley’s Steve Evans, as well as a brief exploration into some managers who’d be handy in a fight: ‘Hands back Hans Backe, you fighting machine’.

   Remember to follow me on Twitter.

What an accepting, lovely bunch you Canadians are

and then…

Eyelash curlers, Labradors, and the solution to Premier League debt

   There will be another one up on Red Nation Online tomorrow. I’m sorry I’ve been neglecting the blog - life has been pretty hectic lately. Hopefully there will be regular posts starting again in the next couple of weeks.

   Remember to follow me on Twitter.

   Now for football’s international break. Yawn.

www.guardian.co.uk

The original background to his blog: Peter Beardsley with his meat-and-two-veg hanging out; www.winningiseverything.co.uk

   There is going to be a change of direction for The Daniel Rouse Football Blog. Well, for starters, it is now catchily named The Daniel Rouse Miscellaneous Blog.

   Because that’s what it is: pretty miscellaneous. What goes on here is whatever I feel an urge to write about. I’m now writing a weekly column for Red Nation Online, so a lot of my football writing effort will go into that.

   Can I be more specific about what’s going to go on here? Well, I expect there will still be some football - perhaps the stuff that’s a bit too rude to stick on the RNO column - and then there should be some music (I’m a bit of a geek on that front), beer appreciation, and little bits and pieces of things I do or see that I deem interesting enough to write about.

   So stick around if you’ve enjoyed my pieces like the article which was mostly a celebration of urination (BMO Field article), my tendency to make comparisons between a famous person’s face and something rather unsightly, and my love of self-deprecation.

   All the best.

Richard Dunne with a sweat-on in Hong Kong; www.metro.co.uk

   Finally, the Premier League is back on Saturday. While friendlies are nice money spinners for clubs, and also offer opportunities for football fans from around the world to see European teams on their doorstep, they are often dire.

   Aston Villa vs Blackburn Rovers. The kind of tie that would find itself last on Match of the Day but, in the world of pre-season friendlies, is a lucrative semi-final in the 2011 Barclays Asia Trophy.

   I watched the first half of the game before I instead opted to decipher the rules of Gaelic Football instead. It just wasn’t very nice to see an extremely soggy claret and blue shirt cling to the generous exterior of Richard Dunne. We can safely rule out that he wasn’t struggling with the job of marking Jason Roberts (who has averaged under 5 goals a season in his 5 years at Blackburn), it was because Hong Kong was so humid.

   This meant the game was played at a pace well under the norm - it was simply a very warm warm-up - and it made Dion Dublin’s job as commentator extremely difficult as he continually lied about what an interesting game it was, and how competitive.

   But now, following Manchester United’s Community Shield win over their ‘noisy neighbours’ on Sunday, we are close to the start of the best league in the world.

   So, club-by-club, what have we got to look forward to? Who are the important players?

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain unveiled today; www.arsenal.com

Arsenal - Today Arsene Wenger signed 17 year-old Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain from Southampton. He’s not expected to make an instant impact at the Emirates, but is a huge talent who should make at least a couple of contributions off the bench. Other signings include Ivorian forward Gervinho for £11m, who helped Lille to the Ligue 1 title and Coupe de France last season. Sought-after pair Fabregas and Nasri are somehow still at the club; as are snort-laughter pair Emmanuel Eboué and Nicklas Bendtner.

Aston Villa - Villa actually beat Blackburn courtesy of a Darren Bent goal, but lost in the Asia Trophy final to Chelsea. The main spotlight will obviously be on Alex McLeish’s attempts to win over the Villa Park faithful following his controversial move from arch-rivals Birmingham City. Marc Albrighton will be given more responsibility and Charles N’Zogbia expected to settle immediately after the exits of Stuart Downing and Ashley Young.

Blackburn Rovers - Blackburn finished third in the Asia Trophy, beating Hong Kong side Kitchee in the third-place playoff. Steve Kean currently has the unwanted title as the Premier League manager most likely to lose his job first, so will be looking to the now-fit Mauro Formica and the improving David Hoilett to help Blackburn on their way to safety. Despite the signing of David Goodwillie (a very presumptuous name) a few days ago, Rovers look a bit thin on the ground.

Bolton Wanderers - The loss of Lee Chung-Yong to injury is massive, so Owen Coyle will be looking towards new boy Chris Eagles to raise his game and compensate for a lack of fire-power following the departures of Johan Elmander and Daniel Sturridge. Kevin Davies will continue to lead the side in what will be his ninth season at the club.

Chelsea - Andre Villas-Boas will hope to have a deal for teenage striker Romelu Lukaku wrapped up before the season starts, and will also expect an impact from Daniel Sturridge after his successful loan spell at Bolton. Otherwise, much of the focus will again be on Fernando Torres who has been a flop since his record £50m move from Liverpool.

Rodwell and Jagielka; www.telegraph.co.uk

Everton - Will they continue their trend of starting a season badly, and then finish off looking strong? Consistency is the key for Moyes who has been typically quiet in the transfer window and will see keeping the growing influence of Jack Rodwell and defender Phil Jagielka at the club as a coup.

Fulham - The capture of John Arne Riise from Roma is a shrewd move from Martin Jol, and keeping Andrew Johnson and Bobby Zamora fit is also important. It wouldn’t be a surprise if Jol delved into the transfer market a couple more times yet.

Liverpool - Much is expected of Liverpool after some big buys by Kenny Dalglish. Steven Gerrard will miss the start of the season, so new signings Charlie Adam and Jordan Henderson will have a chance to make the central midfield their own. Their defence may be their Achilles’ heel though with Jamie Carragher turning 34 this term and no new players brought in to cover any defensive role.

Manchester City - Will Tevez ever play for City again? Who knows. But while the capture of Sergio Aguero is big, Mancini will be hoping for more from Edin Dzeko and Mario Balotelli. Expect a couple more signings before the end of August.

Manchester United - High off a Community Shield win topped-off with impressive performances from the youngsters, United will expect the title again. David de Gea has to fill the void left by Edwin van der Sar but Ashley Young will fit into the side with ease. Whether Ferguson will sign a replacement for the retired Paul Scholes remains to be seen.

Demba Ba in pre-season; www.chroniclelive.co.uk

Newcastle United - Demba Ba is a great signing and exactly what Newcastle needed to strengthen their faltering attack, but it’s the gap in central midfield left by Kevin Nolan and Joey Barton (who seems unlikely to appear for the Magpies again) that is vital. The French duo Yohan Cabaye and Sylvain Marveaux have joined, and, along with Cheick Tioté and Dan Gosling, will look to ensure that Nolan and Barton are not missed.

Norwich City - Captain Grant Holt will once again step up a division after spending the 2008/09 season in League Two with Shrewsbury Town, and then moving to Norwich where he has enjoyed back-to-back promotions from League One and then the Championship. Keeping Holt amidst reported interested from Newcastle, as well as sustaining new boy James Vaughan’s fitness, is important in a squad with very little Premier League experience.

Neil Warnock; www.guardian.co.uk

Queens Park Rangers - Neil Warnock is back! Cue post-match rants, touchline fallouts, and maybe some sneaky cheating from the Yorkshireman. QPR still, just, have Adel Taarabt as their creative spark in midfield, and have bolstered their attacking options in the acquistions of DJ Campbell from Blackpool for £1.25m and Jay Bothroyd from Cardiff City on a free.

Stoke City - As I have mentioned in a previous article on this blog, Tony Pulis needs to buy. Their midfield isn’t the best and, while it is sandwiched by a weighty defence and front-line, it will be found out on numerous occasions this season. The added physical demands of the Europa League will stretch the squad to its limits. A big two-and-a-half weeks in the transfer window for Pulis.

Sunderland - In contrast, Sunderland have been very busy: they have signed no less than ten players. After Darren Bent moved to Aston Villa last January, coupled with a lengthy injury list, Sunderland dropped down the table following a very strong start, and were looking nervously over their shoulders at the relegation places. Steve Bruce has moved to ensure it doesn’t happen again: ex-Manchester United duo John O’Shea and Wes Brown and ex-Birmingham City men Sebastian Larsson and Craig Gardner add experience to their defence and midfield respectively, while Ji Dong-Won and Connor Wickham bring youthful exuberance to the Sunderland attack. A deal for James McClean from Derry City also looks on the verge of being completed, while Bruce also weighs up making a bid for Manchester City’s Craig Bellamy.

Swansea boss Brendan Rodgers celebrates play-off promotion; www.mirrorfootball.co.uk

Swansea City - Swansea have spent more than the other two promoted sides, bringing in experienced Premier League players Wayne Routledge and Leroy Lita, goalkeepers Jose Moreira and Michel Vorm, last-season’s top Championship goalscorer Danny Graham, and young defender Steven Caulker on loan from Tottenham Hotspur. It will be interesting to see if Scott Sinclair can make the step-up from the Championship after he previously failed to make the grade at Chelsea.

Tottenham Hotspur - The biggest news so far for Spurs fans is that they’ve kept hold of Luka Modric despite interest from Chelsea, and Gareth Bale. Otherwise it has been an uncharacteristically quiet summer from wheeler-dealer ‘Arry Redknapp, who will look to take advantage of Arsenal’s apparent vulnerability and topple their neighbours. Brad Friedel will give the defence more confidence after having to play in front of Heurelho Gomes, who weakly brushes at high balls more than a Roman Catholic priest, for three seasons.

West Bromwich Albion - Roy Hodgson has made a catalogue of bargain buys as he looks to build on last season’s 11th placed finish. Zoltan Gera has re-joined Hodgson on a free from Fulham, and utility player Billy Jones is also a good signing from Preston. Despite having five players bought in for nothing, with Shane Long looking set to join for a club record fee, more of the same from captain Chris Brunt and striker Peter Odemwingie will be the first aim at The Hawthorns.

Wigan Athletic - After miraculously escaping relegation last season, Wigan are expected to endure another season of struggle. Martinez has secured the services of goalkeeper Ali Al-Habsi from Bolton in a permanent deal, and has signed David Jones from Wolves, but the departure of Charles N’Zogbia to Aston Villa is a huge loss and something Martinez will be looking to address before the transfer window closes.

Roger Johnson (left) has a disagreement with former Wolves captain Karl Henry last season; www.skysports.com

Wolverhampton Wanderers - Another club who ensured survival on the final day, but are given a better chance of survival than Wigan by most bookies. Roger Johnson was signed from Birmingham City, immediately installed as captain, and will be vital in shoring up Mick McCarthy’s defence. Jamie O’Hara has also been signed on a permanent basis from Tottenham, while the purchase of Dorus de Vries from Swansea looks to address the problem goalkeeping position. Up front more goals will be expected from Kevin Doyle, who may favour another striker beside him rather than being continually used in the lone striker role.

   I went to watch the baseball for the second time on Thursday night: Toronto Blue Jays vs Baltimore Orioles at the Rogers Centre. It was a pretty bad game, nothing much of note. I was, however, pretty impressed with their beer dispensers. The video above (I didn’t film it - it goes on forever) displays this wonderful invention.

   On purchasing a couple of beers, the barman quipped: “I bet you don’t get these in England, eh!” - Canadians will be the first to tell you that they like to say “eh” a lot.

   No Mr Barman, you’re quite right, all beer in England is served by Betty from Coronation Street. The contraption they use in England is a stiff and rusting pump which coughs out a warm brown liquid.

   But if I had to choose between an ice-cold Budweiser from a futuristic and impeccably clean dispenser even George Jetson would be impressed by, or a pint of 15°C (it may be warmer, depends how the cellar fan is working) Shropshire Lad which negotiates its through a scum-ridden pipe on its way to a glass that is older than me, well, the latter will always win.

   Budweiser is a beer for people who eat McDonald’s Breakfast Burritos and wear t-shirts with Xbox games emblazoned across the front. Budweiser is the height of bad taste.

   Good invention though.

Tony Pulis celebrates during Stoke’s emphatic 5-0 victory over Bolton in last season’s FA Cup Semi Final; www.dailymail.co.uk

   This Thursday Stoke City welcome Croatian side Hajduk Split to the Britannia Stadium in the third qualifying leg of the Europa League. It’s been a while since Stoke were in Europe: 1974/75 was their last campaign, when Stoke boss Tony Pulis was working his way through the youth system as a defender at Newport YMCA.

   It’s a credit to the Welshman and his hard-working side that they are about to - much to the dismay of Arsene Wenger - compete in their fourth successive Premier League campaign and also treat their loyal following to a tour of Europe if they get past the Croats. They are famed for not playing the prettiest brand of football but who cares? Playing to their strengths has seen them surpass probably everyone’s expectations.

   Pulis will be aware though that the Masters of the Sea - one of Split’s nicknames - are no pushovers. Recent graduates from Stadion Poljud include Niko Kranjčar, Igor Tudor and Slaven Bilić, and they have the recent arrival of Bulgarian legend Krasimir Balakov as their manager.

   It’s an early test for The Potters, but one they are expected to succeed in. Two seasons ago Fulham made it to the Europa League final, only to be edged out by Atletico Madrid. Have Stoke got what it takes to trump some big sides in this season’s competition?

Huth, left, and Shawcross celebrate with Thomas Sorensen; www.mirrorfootball.co.uk

   Defensively Stoke City are tough. Captain Ryan Shawcross and Robert Huth are a strong central pairing and a headache for any Premier League strikeforce; as Mario Balotelli will testify after feeling the sharp end of Huth’s elbow in the 2011 FA Cup Final. Pulis has strengthened his options further in defence with the acquisition of Jonathan Woodgate. If fit, Woodgate is one of the best English defenders around, and he has been signed on a pay-as-you-play deal so the risk for Stoke is minimal.

   The strikeforce at the Britannia Stadium is also focused on strength and physicality. Kenwyne Jones is a class act and a big lad, but he’s lazy. Jonathan Walters took some time to settle, but ended up having an impressive season following his move from Ipswich Town. With Ricardo Fuller, the biggest of them all, you have incredible strength and some neat touches.

   The midfield, however, is where you’d expect Pulis to strengthen most with his impending signings. Matthew Etherington has been an important player for Stoke on the left, while Jermaine Pennant is clearly enjoying himself on the right. In the middle they are a bit lightweight. Dean Whitehead must possess the largest face in football - it really is enormous: think the lovechild of Sarah Jessica Parker and the Moon - and is an average midfielder. Glenn Whelan has a creative spark but has never really ‘done it’, and throw-in specialist Rory Delap may have clocked up 37 appearances in the Premier League last season, but is in the twilight of his career at 35.

Dean Whitehead; www.bbc.co.uk

   So which is the best bet with William Hill? Stoke to surprise some big teams and win the Europa League at 66/1? Or an over-stretched side fatigued from their European exertions drop out of the Premier League at 7/1?

   I very much doubt that either will happen, but Pulis is correct in looking to add depth to a squad which is a bit thin on the ground. With the extra signings Stoke would cope better with a congested fixture list and could scare a few sides in Europe. Either way, they’ve got to get past Hajduk Split first.

Barton taking a corner at part-timers HVV Hollandia’s 2,500 capacity ground on Thursday; www.nufc.co.uk

   Joey Barton is never far from controversy, so much so that it feels rather clichéd to say so. While his aggression has still remained in his football - a major attribute in his game - he has tried to curb his bad behaviour of it with the help of Tony Adams’s Sporting Chance clinic - a charity which aims to eradicate addictions and aid recovery for sportsmen and women.

   It may be too early to judge whether the guidance of the clinic has changed Barton, but last season he managed to stay out of the media spotlight most of the time. Despite punching Blackburn’s Morten Gamst Pedersen in the chest last November (admittedly a very bad offence), he kept out of trouble, clocking up 32 Premier League appearances and impressing in many.

   However, his previous misdemeanours, such as putting a cigar out in then-Manchester City youth teamer Jamie Tandy’s eye (who, in hindsight, deserved it), starting a brawl at a City friendly at Doncaster Rovers, fighting with a 15 year old Everton supporter in Thailand, and, most of all, his charges of common assault and affray after an incident outside a McDonald’s in Liverpool and the previous ABH charge on former teammate Ousmane Dabo, have returned to haunt him.

   Barton was refused entry to the USA because of his criminal record, so is instead a part of Peter Beardsley’s Newcastle reserve side. So while Newcastle new boys Demba Ba, Sylvain Marveaux and Mehdi Abeid prepare in temperatures reaching the mid-thirties for their game in Florida against Orlando City, Joey Barton, along with another new signing in France international Yohan Cabaye who was refused entry to USA due to an unpaid dental bill, will line up with the youngsters and misfits of the second string on a soggy Dutch pitch against FC Utrecht’s reserves.

   While you’ve got to feel a bit of sympathy for Cabaye being dopey with his bills, it is just that Barton is refused entry.

Yohan Cabaye: forgetful, but has a lovely set of teeth; www.sportsnet.ca

   Some players of interest in Newcastle’s reserves include James Perch who has been at the club for just a year, Wayne Routledge, Xisco and young striker Ryan Donaldson, who are all presumably out of manager Alan Pardew’s plans and therefore available for transfer. Nile Ranger, another player who was refused a visa due to his part in an armed robbery while he was in Southampton’s youth academy, is also in the reserve side with the Newcastle hierarchy ready to accept any suitable offers forthcoming.

   Last night I went with three friends to Toronto FC’s BMO Field for the first time. Here are my top five things from a thoroughly enjoyable evening, with a couple of my piss-poor attempts at photography included.

5. The football.

   I miss going to regular football back in the UK, so to see some infuriating missed headers from TFC’s defence, wayward crosses from their wingers, and a lazy new striker for whom it seems everybody has got unnecessarily excited for, well, it was just like being back home. I’d say the standard is the equivalent of League One in England.

   A few nice touches from Toronto FC debutant Ryan Johnson and a steady performance from the experienced and unfit Torsten Frings - also playing in his first game - were the only signs of hope in a largely lacklustre performance by the Reds. They lost 1-0 courtesy of a fantastic goal by Dallas winger Brek Shea.

4. The queues.

   Half-times in British football can be a stressful affair: everybody wants a pie and pint. A struggle ensues, the men with bigger elbows or man-boobs get their overpriced kitty first, then, with everybody on equal footing, it’s whoever can shout the loudest. You can’t hang around until the queue dies down either - the bar closes when the second half begins.

   At the BMO Field there is a calm but quick queue for a beer, and the bar closes after 65 minutes of the game has elapsed. The queue for the treat that is the urinals (more on that later) was also a speedy affair, my hop-from-foot-to-foot desperate dance at the end of the game was short-lived, unfortunately for some.

3. The atmosphere.

   I have previously expressed my disappointment at the atmosphere at North American sporting venues on this blog. BMO Field, however, is pretty good. I was in the singing contingent that kept up an impressive level of decibels throughout the game and remained stood throughout.

   The 24th minute is always a noisy tribute to much-loved former player and now youth academy coach Danny Dichio. Dichio, who forged a successful career in English football before his move to TFC, scored the club’s first ever goal in the 24th minute of a game against Chicago Fire in 2007.

   I was also particularly impressed by the goalkeeper baiting. Whilst the fans partake in the traditional “Woahhhhhhhh” preceding the kick, followed by the declaration of the opposition goalkeeper being poor or overweight, the TFC faithful charmingly accompany this with a repeated chant of “douchebag, douchebag, douchebag”.

Kevin Hartman: a massive douchebag; www.theendline.com

2. 28oz beers

   Although they only serve Carlsberg at an astronomical price, you can’t fault the cups. A pint is 568ml, or 20oz, and you can buy these. But why when you can look much more impressive with an extra 8oz? That is a whole 227ml, just under an extra half pint.

   They also put the excitable nature of North Americans into consideration too: your pint pot has a spillage-preventing lid on it. The lid has a hole - which also has its own mini-lid - big enough for a generous glug.

1. The urinals.

   Weeing is one of life’s greatest pleasures - it’s weird but it’s a fact. I’m sorry female readers, but some men do showboat somewhat when they are having a wee. I admit that I’m a particularly big fan of the no-hands trick - a very easy skill but impressive-looking. And what about starting your damp, and then slowly stepping backwards, increasing the distance from todger to target as far as you dare? This is regularly followed by an odd legs-apart jog forward as the stream loses energy.

   Sometimes though, it is not socially acceptable to perform these talents when you are in a pub toilet surrounded by strangers.

   The powers-that-be in the land of toilets, however, have recognised that men yearn to maintain having a slash as a sporting event, even when surrounded by unfamiliar folk. Therefore, there has been a surge in urinal entertainment over the past ten years.

   I have urinated at urinals that have a TV showing sport above them, I have squeezed my lemon at glorified metal walls that make satisfying echoey drum-rolls and pepper bouncing piss back on your shoes, and I have siphoned the pyphon at dots in urinals that have been purposely painted due to it being the area which will provide the least splashback.

   The urinals at the BMO Field though had something very very special in them:

   This left me wishing I had a weak bladder. That ball was on a string so, when peed on, you would score goals repeatedly. I had to stop myself from picking it up and putting it in my bag. What an incredible invention.

San Jose Earthquakes’ goalkeeper David Bingham scores the first goal in a 2-1 friendly win over West Bromwich Albion last week.

   On Friday Canada turned 144. What this means is lots of people paint their faces, fingernails and forearms in red and white and have a weekend of drinking Molson’s. For an Englishman it makes a nice change to see people daubed in red and white and being vocal in their love for their country not being labelled as a hooligan and/or racist.

   Living in Toronto I couldn’t help think that this year there was a conflict of interest: Canada Day also coincided with the climax of Pride Week - a celebration of homosexuality. Apparently it’s unheard of for these two events to occur simulataneously.

   So on Friday, playing football and volleyball on Toronto’s Woodbine Beach with four Frenchmen and a Brazilian, there was a bit of confusion about what we should be doing to mark 1st July.

   Down the road from the house I had moved in earlier that day is a venue called Lee’s Palace. It is one of Toronto’s chief music venues and has hosted the likes of Nirvana, Oasis and Red Hot Chili Peppers; it is also where I’m going to see The Horrors in September. The rest of the time it is a club venue which plays out indie rock to the local scenesters. On Friday though, to please both the patriotic and gays (or gaytriotic, if you like), it changed its schedule for the evening: it put on a male burlesque night under the name of “O Manada”.

   At Ryerson University, they took on a more civilised idea: a meet and greet night. It had to be done naked though.

   Now, I’m sure this is fantastic for the gay community of Toronto and the visitors from outside of the city, but it isn’t the kind of thing I’m known to get up to at the weekend.

   So what did I do to mark my first Canada Day? I went to Harbour Front to meet up with my friend Ahmed and his friend Steve who is a sports writer in Bermuda (rather unexotically from Walsall in England), watched a drunken blonde lady who used to be in the Black Eyed Peas (before they upgraded with Fergie) gyrate around a stage, and discussed the politics of Carribbean football. I felt so Canadian.

Toronto`s Harbour Front

New Manchester United winger Ashley Young; www.telegraph.co.uk

   After Manchester United’s purchases of Blackburn defender Phil Jones and Aston Villa’s Ashley Young, along with Liverpool’s Jordan Henderson buy from Sunderland and Sunderland’s Connor Wickham buy from Ipswich, we are now back to speculation rather than moves in the Premier League.

   The yearly Fabregas will-he-won’t-he saga is still in force. After a poor season at the Emirates which leaves Wenger in his most precarious position since his arrival (Sky Bet are offering 16-1 for him to be the next Premier League manager to go), Fabregas will certainly be looking longingly towards his spiritual home. As a youngster, Fabregas was told he would wear the number 4 shirt of Barcelona by then-player-now-manager Pep Guardiola. It seems inevitable now that the Arsenal captain will jump ship to the European Champions.

   Arsenal have dominated the transfer news for all the wrong reasons. Their star players are constantly touted for moves (Samir Nasri is often strewn across the back pages) while their rubbish players (Manuel Almunia, Emmanuel Eboue and Sébastien Squillaci to name a few) seem to be staying put at the moment. It’s a big season for the North London outfit.

Tottenham`s Luka Modric and Arsenal`s Emmanuel Eboue; www.sportige.com

   Their neighbours Tottenham Hotspur are also at a crossroads. With no Champions` League football next term, playmaker Luka Modric is continually linked with both Manchester clubs and would prove an extremely difficult player to replace. Spurs fans will be happy that transfer tales on Gareth Bale seem to have slowed. More of the same by the speedy Welshman, however, would surely mean a big money move in January or next summer.

   Manchester City’s website, undoubtedly the best English club website (it’s not one of these ten-a-penny websites for starters: http://www.shrewsburytown.com/page/Home), has been poking fun at the rumours regularly: http://www.mcfc.co.uk/News/Team-news/2011/July/Rumour-mill-Nasri-on-Sanchez-tail

   At the bottom of the article is a squad made up of all of the players who have been linked to the FA Cup holders this summer: currently 41. But there are some players at Eastlands for whom it seems like it will be their final days at the club: strikers Roque Santa Cruz, Jo(ke), Felipe Caicedo, Craig Bellamy and Emmanuel Adebayor could all move away, with Carlos Tevez`s future still up in the air. Elsewhere fan favourite Shaun Wright-Phillips looks to be on his way out while defender Jerome Boateng continues to talk himself out of the club.

Felipe Caicedo enjoyed a successful 2010-2011 at Levante; www.terra.com.ec

   Wigan Athletic manager Roberto Martinez is closing in on goalkeeper Ali Al-Habsi on a permanent deal from Bolton following his season-long loan at the DW Stadium. The Oman international had a big season as Wigan survived relegation on the last day. During his time at Bolton he managed just ten Premier League appearances, failing to usurp Reebok Stadium hero Jussi Jääskeläinen.

   In the Championship and League One there have been a couple of transfers worth noting: one the purchase of a rookie with a big name, and the other which could prove to be a shrewd move for a new manager.

   Gustavo Poyet, who led Brighton to 1st place in League One in his first full season, has bought Roland Bergkamp from Excelsior. Bergkamp, nephew of Dennis, moves to the brand new Falmer Stadium with the weight of his uncle’s reputation on his shoulders. Poyet was quick to reduce this burden in telling the club website “He is a totally different player to Dennis and we don’t want people to compare him.” With five goals in 28 games for his first club, compared to Dennis`s 103 in 185 at his first club Ajax, this was quite clear already.

Roland Bergkamp; www.fcupdate.nl

   In League One, new Brentford boss Uwe Rösler has acquired the services of Clayton Donaldson from Crewe Alexandra. Brentford, despite finishing last season in 11th, were 20th in the total goals scored. Donaldson could provide this much-needed fire-power in a very competitive division: last season he scored 27 League Two goals in an average Crewe side.

   The transfers could continue to move slowly until sides return for pre-season training. Some (well, Wenger) will be hoping they don`t move at all.

   The wonderfully named Devin Scott Del Do is in his second season with National Sports Center Minnesota Stars. A striker who has previously struggled through injury, he is now a regular fixture in the Stars’ squad who offers pace, a high work-rate, and also versatility as he is also adept in midfield. He is a keen admirer of Carlos Tevez’s game. According to www.nscminnesota.com “Del Do’s last name is officially two words, but it appears in places as one word. His family had spelled it as one word his entire life, but he discovered it was actually two shortly after signing his contract.” Del Do must have felt a right willy. Maybe even a large, rubber one.

Del Do, right, down the wing; http://sundial.csun.edu

   Last season Minnesota also boasted the attacking option of Two-Boys Gladstone Gumede. In the 2010 MLS SuperDraft, Gumede was not chosen by any side but was eventually picked up by Stars of the North American Soccer League (second tier). Like Devin Del Do, Gumede can play both up-front and in midfield and made an impression as a youngster due to his eye for a pass in the final third. In an interview with Minnesota’s largest newspaper Star Tribune, the South African was questioned on the origins of his name: “I have five brothers, and I’m the second-oldest. My mom always wanted a girl, and after she had a boy she thought the second time she would have a girl. When I came out, she was like, ‘Oh, I have two boys.’ And that’s how my name came along.”

Two-Boys; www.minnpost.com

   With a Del Do and Two-Boys in attack, one could argue it would be a real back-to-the-walls job for the defence. It never happened. The only time they both appeared on the same teamsheet was on 11th April 2010, with Del Do playing the full ninety minutes against Vancouver Whitecaps and Two-Boys staying on the bench.

   This season Del Do has seen more action. The Californian has already made one more appearance (10) than last season, doubling his goal tally in the process (4). Two-Boys Gladstone Gumede, meanwhile, has disappeared. His last game for NSC Minnesota Stars was a 2-0 home loss against the Portland Timbers last June, when he came on as a second-half substitute for Italian Simone Bracalello.

Stan Kroenke, hideously rich.

   The current holders of the MLS Cup are Colorado Rapids. An extra-time own goal by FC Dallas defender George John saw The Centennial State gain its first soccer cup since the now defunct Colorado Foxes won the APSL in 1993. It was also the first MLS Cup for the Colorado Rapids.

   Owned by Stan Kroenke, the majority shareholder at Arsenal and owner of teams across all the major sports in North America, the Rapids play at the wonderfully named Dick`s Sporting Goods Park after five years at the now-demolished Mile High Stadium, followed by four years at Invesco Field at Mile High (home of the NFL`s Denver Broncos).

   Perhaps the most recognisable face from their past is midfielder Carlos Valderrama. After a spells at Tampa Bay Mutiny, Miami Fusion, and then back at Mutiny, Colombian Valderrama spent his final year in the game at Colorado Rapids.

Hair Bear loses Bubi Bear and Square Bear in Wonderland Zoo.

   Despite being slower than my friend Samuel’s letter from Afghanistan (that Canadian postal strike is getting a bit irritating), and questions over his best position, Valderrama represented Colombia 111 times, scoring 11 times. His international career, coupled with influencial performances for Montpellier HSC in European competitions and, in particular, a French Cup semi-final against Saint-Étienne, made him bigger than his hair. He was transferred to Montpellier on the strength of a performance against England at Wembley in 1988, and a 2-0 loss at World Cup 1998 to England, courtesy of goals from Darren Anderton (that clown got 30 caps!) and David Beckham, marked his last appearance for his country.

   Colorado Rapids` first ever manager was Bob Houghton, a former colleague and compatriot in Swedish football with friend Roy Hodgson. Houghton has had nineteen managerial stints, taking him all over the world. His last job was with the Indian national team where he resigned in April after five years in charge. In his playing career he was a competent and traditional English forward.

Bob Houghton

   There has been plenty of English connections in recent years. You can make the beginnings of a side with former Rapid players who are currently out of contract: goalkeeper Marcus Hahnemann, recently released from Wolves, spent two-and-a-half years in Colorado; Manchester United trainee Terry Cooke was at Rapids for four years and last played for Tony Adams’s Gabala FC in Azerbaijan; forward Junior Agogo, who has played for nine different English clubs, scored 11 in 32 games for Rapids; and former Charlton striker Shaun Bartlett (goal of the season 2000-01: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPTm0vrX-LU) played for Rapids in the MLS’s first season.

   Former Colorado boys with English connections who are now retired include former Chelsea man John Spencer; former Arsenal, Everton and Birmingham midfielder Anders Limpar; and England international goalkeeper Chris Woods.

John Spencer at Chelsea

   Nowadays, under the tutelage of Englishman Gary Smith, “firepower” of Caleb Folan (he isn’t scoring much in the MLS either), Aston Villa trainee Danny Earls, and twice-capped Scotsman Jamie Smith, Rapids are fifth in a nine-team Western Conference. They will look to redeem themselves after losing 4-1 at Columbus Crew when they face Houston Dynamo at Dick’s Sporting Goods Park on Sunday.